I have never been a crafty person. Yes I do like looking at crafts, admire greatly those who create beautiful things but for me, I think I was standing behind the door when those talents were handed out LOL The only thing that i've really ever been able to do was scrapbooking, and heck even that is basic because that is all I had been around. None of the fancy shmancy pages that you see in the scrapbooking magazines, you just didn't 'do' things like that with the people I learnt with. So even my only real creative outlet is pretty, well boring really.
Oh I do loving making jewellery, but due to my eyes going crazy with the up-close work, I stopped doing it. Getting massive headaches really didn't help the creative process at all!
So why is it last night, whilst laying in bed getting ready to drift off to sleep did I get the sudden urge to start making stuff? What 'stuff' do you say? Well, sewing some cute little nappy covers for the Little Girl (who is still nameless btw!!), making a couple of bracelets for my Mum (ok, so this one is completely 'doable'), also making some headbands/bows for the Little Girl as well. Heck even I even decided to make the covers and also applique a heart onto a plain white singlet from the same material that the covers were made from so that she could have a cute little set to keep her cool during the warmer months.
In my head, its all worked out. It's just a matter of getting it out of there and to actually make the stuff LOL
Now, let me just tell you a bit of background here and then maybe you will understand just WHY i'm posting this. I failed Home Economics at school. Yes, I did 4 years of the damn subject at highschool, and whilst I passed the cooking side of things, the sewing side resulted in a dismal effort. I had the same teacher in yrs 11 and 12, and she was the loveliest teacher you could ask for, very helpful and wise but even she used to scratch her head at my sewing attempts LOL At one point during one of our final assessment pieces (which was a skirt and top) she had me take them home (which was a big no-no!) and get my Mum to help me because I was so far behind that i'd never get it finished LOL Oops!!
So needless to say, me and sewing are a bit of a laughable subject in my family! My Mum and Nan are fabulous with sewing. Heck Nan used to be a dressmaker, making wedding gowns and the whole bridal party outfits. Mum, well she has been sewing forever and has made many beautiful outfits as well. She is currently getting ready to make curtains for the boys room, and then onto making the quilt, nappy stacker and curtains for the Little Girl's room (got the material for it the other day!).
Maybe its all this that has sparked my interest? Maybe its the 3 visits to Spotlight in the last week, also a trip to a patchwork and craft material shop and lets not forget Lincraft. Mum offered me a few weeks ago to teach me again, or at least try LOL but I just laughed it off asking if she realised what she was saying. She thinks that perhaps I just wasn't ready before and that now I could actually do it. Maybe it was that little bit of confidence that has made me want to do this?
I think its pretty funny actually, but right now its taking all my power not to get everyone into the car and head down to the shops and get some materials/threads/crazy stuff that i'll probably only use the once.
I wonder if this is how others started? The idea is stuck and I am thinking that i'm going to HAVE to make something (or at least TRY) before it will go away LOL
Should be interesting anyway LOL And don't worry, I will subject you all to seeing what I create hehehe
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Please Indulge Me
I'm trying to think positively lately, especially in regards to the pregnancy and how amazing it will be to add a daughter to our family. But, right now, I really need to have a whinge.
Yes, I know, its not the 'right' thing to do and many people do not like it when pregnant women whinge. I also realise how precious of a miracle we have been blessed with and there are those out there who are not so lucky and I do feel for them (we too suffered infertility before conceiving Master L).
But I have to let this out, and this is as good a place as any right now.
Pregnancy and I, it would seem, just do not mix. This time was meant to be different. You know, that eternal hope and dream that each one will be different and there wouldn't be the problems that happened in any of the others, happening again this time. Well, seems I was wrong again :(
Right now i'm sitting here in pain. Pain from the braxton hicks that are once again regular. I have that much pressure going on its crazy! Heck i'm only 21wks gone!!! Why does this happen, and why is it getting earlier and earlier?
The real kicker is, I've done hardly anything today at all. I even got to have a 2hr sleep this afternoon as I was feeling so yucky. I'd expect to feel so crappy and to have all these braxton hicks had I of had a busy day, but nope, not at all :(
I'm also sitting here and wishing I was further along. This kind of stuff really does scare me, and yes I know, it has happened with the last 2 pregnancies, but I was much further along before any of this started. Usually its around the 27wk mark that this starts, but not this time :(
I'm also finding a peace in the fact that this will be our last baby. I was pretty happy with this being it, but now that this crap is happening already, it just sets it in stone if that makes sense?
Sorry to be in such a downer, but i'm feeling like crap and need to let it out while I sit here with my feet up doing nothing. This blog has been a bit of a 'baby blog' lately, sorry about that! Hopefully my next post will be more positive.
Yes, I know, its not the 'right' thing to do and many people do not like it when pregnant women whinge. I also realise how precious of a miracle we have been blessed with and there are those out there who are not so lucky and I do feel for them (we too suffered infertility before conceiving Master L).
But I have to let this out, and this is as good a place as any right now.
Pregnancy and I, it would seem, just do not mix. This time was meant to be different. You know, that eternal hope and dream that each one will be different and there wouldn't be the problems that happened in any of the others, happening again this time. Well, seems I was wrong again :(
Right now i'm sitting here in pain. Pain from the braxton hicks that are once again regular. I have that much pressure going on its crazy! Heck i'm only 21wks gone!!! Why does this happen, and why is it getting earlier and earlier?
The real kicker is, I've done hardly anything today at all. I even got to have a 2hr sleep this afternoon as I was feeling so yucky. I'd expect to feel so crappy and to have all these braxton hicks had I of had a busy day, but nope, not at all :(
I'm also sitting here and wishing I was further along. This kind of stuff really does scare me, and yes I know, it has happened with the last 2 pregnancies, but I was much further along before any of this started. Usually its around the 27wk mark that this starts, but not this time :(
I'm also finding a peace in the fact that this will be our last baby. I was pretty happy with this being it, but now that this crap is happening already, it just sets it in stone if that makes sense?
Sorry to be in such a downer, but i'm feeling like crap and need to let it out while I sit here with my feet up doing nothing. This blog has been a bit of a 'baby blog' lately, sorry about that! Hopefully my next post will be more positive.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Couple of Pics!
Thought i'd post them seperately since that last post was so huge.
19wks
really just feeling fatter than normal LOL certainly a lot of padding to hide in!
ahhh pink retail therapy!! MrB decided that she needed a rattle that was pink, so that was his contribution to the afternoon. So hard not to go completely crazy with girl stuff! Hey its not like we have been able to head to the girls section before, unless buying a present for someone else, and hey half of them are boys anyway LOL19wk Update
Well, what an interesting afternoon! Ob appointment was at 2pm, now normally we wait around for at least an hour before being seen, well we were there for maybe 15mins before being called. So to start with I was like 'WTF??' lol
Anyway, walk in, and meet the Ob, she was so very nice! Found out that she is the director of obstetrics and gynecology, and was seeing me because of the issue of me wanting a VBA2C.
She wanted to know exactly what happened with all 3 births so far, and to establish all of the problems that I have with Master P's birth. She went right through my medical file for Master P's birth with me, explained everything, sat shocked at majority of it and shaking her head. She also went on to tell me that the fact the Dr who performed the surgery did not stop when I said I could feel everything he was doing, is actually classed as an assault in the eyes of the law. Hmmm not what I was expecting to hear, believe me! She was also appalled to find out that even in my records, there is conflicting reports between the anesthesiologist and the Dr who performed the caesar. So, needless to say, she was not impressed and completely understood why I did not want another caesar.
She then went onto to tell me her experience with ruptures, and after going right through the records and reading how bad my adhesions were (the report my GP got was a basic half page summary of what happened it would seem, the notes she read through with me explained exactly the adhesions and the severity of them) she was very worried about if I do rupture, that it would take them at least 15mins to get through the previous scar tissues just to get to the baby. She has done it before, but the baby was compromised and has suffered some brain damage as a result. Not a possible outcome that we are wanting to take.
So, after thorough discussions in regards to MY case (not just the generic, no way/no how crap I got last time) she then also went on to say that they cannot force me to have a caesar, and that it is my body and my choice how I deliver the baby, but in her honest opinion, mainly given my adhesions, she would not suggest I do it.
She then went on to say, that if I agree to the caesar, that she will do absolutely everything in her power to make the experience a happy one, not a traumatic one like last time. So, with all that info and explanations on board, I have decided to go ahead and agree to the caesar.
After I agreed, she asked what she could do to make it all go more smoothly. So that is when I started with my 'requests' lol. She started writing out our plans for the birth (seems weird doing it at 19wks but at least she was prepared LOL) and the first on the list was ... 'adequate pain relief and analgesia' (obviously, this is the main issue surrounding Master P's birth, that I felt it all until they sedated me). I then said that I want to see the baby being pulled out of me, so with the curtain down. I have absolutely no issues with seeing myself during surgery, have seen pictures of my insides before and I find it more intriguing than gross by it. She is very happy for this to happen, and hopefully she will be performing the surgery herself and she has no issues at all, but if another Dr does, then the light above is to be put in such a way that I can see the reflection. With Master P's birth, stupid me said 'ohhh cool I can see whats going on in the reflection' and the horrible theatre nurse moved the light and said 'well now you can't' *sighs*
The other biggy was, as long as she isn't in a compromised situation, the baby is to stay as close to MrB and I as possible, ie, either on mine or MrB's arms. None of this over the other side of the room crap, or taken out in a humidicrib (Master L had that happen, and there was nothing wrong with him). I want her with us. She agreed to that, as long as there is nothing wrong with bubs that she requires help, but she will be wrapped up because its so cold in the theatre.
The last one that we could think of today was that we want photos! I have seen STACKS of people who have photos of their caesars, including before the baby comes out, to just the head being out, and then all of the baby but we don't have any of those. She could not believe that we weren't allowed to take those last time (or the first time either!). I said we were allowed to take pics, but only when Master P was under the heater and on the scales. Also have a pic of my placenta (I know, i'm weird, but i'm so curious as to all of this I HAD to have pics LOL). So she has written down that there has to be pictures taken, even if its by a nurse, if MrB gets a bit squeemish and can't do it himself.
Oh, and lastly, under no circumstances is the surgery to commence without a senior consultant, head obstetrician or herself there. Master P's surgery was done by a new consultant and there was no other Ob/consultant there. She was thinking that things could have been different with Master P's had there been a senior there to watch over what was going on. Hindsight huh??
Anyway, over an hour we spent with her, and at the end she said that I could still see the midwives or I could just see the Ob's it was up to me. When I said I was happy either way, she then went on to ask if I would be happy to just see her for the rest of my appointments (not something that you usually get in the public system, here its a whoever pulls your file off the top of the pile lottery!!). So I immediately said I would definitely like that, as it keeps everything the same and no other opinions etc being thrown in to disrupt it all. Needless to say, both MrB and I are VERY happy with that! She was also tempted to actually book the caesar date, but then thought about it for a minute and said that she highly doubts that I will go to term, so no point really. If I do go into labour early, I have to ring the hospital straight away, and she will do her darnedest to get to the hospital to do the surgery. If I can keep my legs closed, and this baby girl nice and toasty, she will be delivered at 39wks!
We left the appointment in a far better frame of mind than last time. Although I am still sad I won't birth her naturally, I am feeling far more at peace that no matter when it happens there is a plan in place (photocopied and given to the NUM of maternity, so she is clued in on it all too) to make sure that nothing like last time happens again.
It's amazing how much the appointment has put me at ease with it all, and helped move me another step forward from the trauma of Master P's birth. No, it won't leave me entirely, I do not expect those feelings to just disappear, but to have some of the things validated and explained really does help.
Anyway, walk in, and meet the Ob, she was so very nice! Found out that she is the director of obstetrics and gynecology, and was seeing me because of the issue of me wanting a VBA2C.
She wanted to know exactly what happened with all 3 births so far, and to establish all of the problems that I have with Master P's birth. She went right through my medical file for Master P's birth with me, explained everything, sat shocked at majority of it and shaking her head. She also went on to tell me that the fact the Dr who performed the surgery did not stop when I said I could feel everything he was doing, is actually classed as an assault in the eyes of the law. Hmmm not what I was expecting to hear, believe me! She was also appalled to find out that even in my records, there is conflicting reports between the anesthesiologist and the Dr who performed the caesar. So, needless to say, she was not impressed and completely understood why I did not want another caesar.
She then went onto to tell me her experience with ruptures, and after going right through the records and reading how bad my adhesions were (the report my GP got was a basic half page summary of what happened it would seem, the notes she read through with me explained exactly the adhesions and the severity of them) she was very worried about if I do rupture, that it would take them at least 15mins to get through the previous scar tissues just to get to the baby. She has done it before, but the baby was compromised and has suffered some brain damage as a result. Not a possible outcome that we are wanting to take.
So, after thorough discussions in regards to MY case (not just the generic, no way/no how crap I got last time) she then also went on to say that they cannot force me to have a caesar, and that it is my body and my choice how I deliver the baby, but in her honest opinion, mainly given my adhesions, she would not suggest I do it.
She then went on to say, that if I agree to the caesar, that she will do absolutely everything in her power to make the experience a happy one, not a traumatic one like last time. So, with all that info and explanations on board, I have decided to go ahead and agree to the caesar.
After I agreed, she asked what she could do to make it all go more smoothly. So that is when I started with my 'requests' lol. She started writing out our plans for the birth (seems weird doing it at 19wks but at least she was prepared LOL) and the first on the list was ... 'adequate pain relief and analgesia' (obviously, this is the main issue surrounding Master P's birth, that I felt it all until they sedated me). I then said that I want to see the baby being pulled out of me, so with the curtain down. I have absolutely no issues with seeing myself during surgery, have seen pictures of my insides before and I find it more intriguing than gross by it. She is very happy for this to happen, and hopefully she will be performing the surgery herself and she has no issues at all, but if another Dr does, then the light above is to be put in such a way that I can see the reflection. With Master P's birth, stupid me said 'ohhh cool I can see whats going on in the reflection' and the horrible theatre nurse moved the light and said 'well now you can't' *sighs*
The other biggy was, as long as she isn't in a compromised situation, the baby is to stay as close to MrB and I as possible, ie, either on mine or MrB's arms. None of this over the other side of the room crap, or taken out in a humidicrib (Master L had that happen, and there was nothing wrong with him). I want her with us. She agreed to that, as long as there is nothing wrong with bubs that she requires help, but she will be wrapped up because its so cold in the theatre.
The last one that we could think of today was that we want photos! I have seen STACKS of people who have photos of their caesars, including before the baby comes out, to just the head being out, and then all of the baby but we don't have any of those. She could not believe that we weren't allowed to take those last time (or the first time either!). I said we were allowed to take pics, but only when Master P was under the heater and on the scales. Also have a pic of my placenta (I know, i'm weird, but i'm so curious as to all of this I HAD to have pics LOL). So she has written down that there has to be pictures taken, even if its by a nurse, if MrB gets a bit squeemish and can't do it himself.
Oh, and lastly, under no circumstances is the surgery to commence without a senior consultant, head obstetrician or herself there. Master P's surgery was done by a new consultant and there was no other Ob/consultant there. She was thinking that things could have been different with Master P's had there been a senior there to watch over what was going on. Hindsight huh??
Anyway, over an hour we spent with her, and at the end she said that I could still see the midwives or I could just see the Ob's it was up to me. When I said I was happy either way, she then went on to ask if I would be happy to just see her for the rest of my appointments (not something that you usually get in the public system, here its a whoever pulls your file off the top of the pile lottery!!). So I immediately said I would definitely like that, as it keeps everything the same and no other opinions etc being thrown in to disrupt it all. Needless to say, both MrB and I are VERY happy with that! She was also tempted to actually book the caesar date, but then thought about it for a minute and said that she highly doubts that I will go to term, so no point really. If I do go into labour early, I have to ring the hospital straight away, and she will do her darnedest to get to the hospital to do the surgery. If I can keep my legs closed, and this baby girl nice and toasty, she will be delivered at 39wks!
We left the appointment in a far better frame of mind than last time. Although I am still sad I won't birth her naturally, I am feeling far more at peace that no matter when it happens there is a plan in place (photocopied and given to the NUM of maternity, so she is clued in on it all too) to make sure that nothing like last time happens again.
It's amazing how much the appointment has put me at ease with it all, and helped move me another step forward from the trauma of Master P's birth. No, it won't leave me entirely, I do not expect those feelings to just disappear, but to have some of the things validated and explained really does help.
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