Saturday, October 17, 2009

Please Indulge Me

I'm trying to think positively lately, especially in regards to the pregnancy and how amazing it will be to add a daughter to our family. But, right now, I really need to have a whinge.

Yes, I know, its not the 'right' thing to do and many people do not like it when pregnant women whinge. I also realise how precious of a miracle we have been blessed with and there are those out there who are not so lucky and I do feel for them (we too suffered infertility before conceiving Master L).

But I have to let this out, and this is as good a place as any right now.

Pregnancy and I, it would seem, just do not mix. This time was meant to be different. You know, that eternal hope and dream that each one will be different and there wouldn't be the problems that happened in any of the others, happening again this time. Well, seems I was wrong again :(

Right now i'm sitting here in pain. Pain from the braxton hicks that are once again regular. I have that much pressure going on its crazy! Heck i'm only 21wks gone!!! Why does this happen, and why is it getting earlier and earlier?

The real kicker is, I've done hardly anything today at all. I even got to have a 2hr sleep this afternoon as I was feeling so yucky. I'd expect to feel so crappy and to have all these braxton hicks had I of had a busy day, but nope, not at all :(

I'm also sitting here and wishing I was further along. This kind of stuff really does scare me, and yes I know, it has happened with the last 2 pregnancies, but I was much further along before any of this started. Usually its around the 27wk mark that this starts, but not this time :(

I'm also finding a peace in the fact that this will be our last baby. I was pretty happy with this being it, but now that this crap is happening already, it just sets it in stone if that makes sense?

Sorry to be in such a downer, but i'm feeling like crap and need to let it out while I sit here with my feet up doing nothing. This blog has been a bit of a 'baby blog' lately, sorry about that! Hopefully my next post will be more positive.

1 comment:

Bec said...

Sending you the biggest, snuggliest hugs Mrs B. Feel free to whinge and whine - the changes that happen to your body during pregancy is like nothing else on earth!!
I'm sorry to hear that it's all starting so soon with your little princess. Are natural therapies an option? I had some accupuncture with Charley and that helped alot!
I'll keep my fingers crossed if you keep your legs crossed!!