Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Letting Go

Why do I have such problems with letting go of things? I am really struggling at the moment to put stuff behind me and move forward. Obviously the issue needs to be dealt with but I have no idea how to do that. I'm sure i'm annoying the daylights out of everyone around me because its at the forefront of everything at the moment and I don't know how to stop that.

Maybe i'm not meant to stop it? But at what price? Heck, even my blog is getting filled with this lately. So, if you reading and sick of it all, i'm sorry, but i'm really not sure where else to let it out. Yes, MrB will listen, but he doesn't 'get it'. My Mum will listen too, but also doesn't get it fully either. They are sort of listening but when it comes to the actual point i'm trying to make all they think about is the 'statistics' that the hospital are spouting.

Why can't I be like other women that I have read about. Their body, THEIR decision. No matter what anyone else says, they do it the way THEY want. Why can't I do that? I seem to have to 'make people happy' and that means giving in to their ideals. Is it simply a lack of confidence in myself or is it more than that? I've been doing this all my life, so obviously its just my 'nature' now, but when does it stop, when can it be MY say?

As I keep telling people, yes, I have issues. I don't know how to work through them, i'm stuck in what seems to be a memory rut. I don't want to annoy people with this, but i'm sure I am.

Why can't I do as some people say and just 'get over it'?

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