Sunday, February 01, 2009

No, I'm NOT going crazy!

Well tonight, Mr B and I went out for dinner while my parents looked after the boys. We left just before 6pm, didn't really enjoy dinner as it wasn't cooked the best (which is sad cause we used to LOVE going to Lonestar, we won't be going back again) but did enjoy the time out from the house together.

While we were at dinner, apparently all hell broke loose here at home. Master L lost the plot for my folks, and for the first time my Mum actually saw what i've been dealing with for the past week. It all started just as we were putting the roller door down and driving out, Master L wanted an icecream (remember I said it was just before 6pm when we left!). Mum said to him that he could have one after he had his dinner. Well nope, he snuck in, got one and ran out the back which is where he was found after he had opened it and started eating.

Now me being the Meany Mummy that I am, I would have taken it off him but Nan took a different approach and let him eat it. When Master L came inside to then have dinner she said to him 'no, no dinner because you had the ice cream. You could have had both if you had of had your dinner first, but you chose not too'. And that is when the screaming started.

It went on and on, Master L bashed Master P (14mths old!) with a car and Nan lost the plot then. She took him down to time out, didn't work he nearly bashed a hole in the door. So she took him out, plonked him in the shower and turned the cold water on (its a warm day here today, so no need to worry that he was going to freeze or anything!!). This FINALLY got him out of his 'zone' and shocked him out of it. A minute later he was fine. Mum said to me after she had told me all that had gone on, 'No wonder you have been like you are this week. I just thought it was you having a bad week, but this is unreal! I have NEVER seen him like this before'. To which I said 'yes, now you believe me hey. I'm not going crazy, it's not just me he does this for now'.

Now tell me, is that normal behaviour for a 4yr old? It's the stuff like this that is scaring the absolute crap out of me right now because I do not know how to deal with it. Is it 4yr old stuff, or is it a sign of Asperger's rearing its head?

Before my parents even arrived here this afternoon, we had had a good afternoon until Master H woke up. That is when Master L went back to his crappy behaviour which resulted in him being put into time out, nearly bashing down the door, bashing and screaming at me and then him running into his room. No worries, he got up on his bed and I told him that he was to chill out and think about his behaviour and closed the door. He didn't like that so he screamed again (I ignored it) and then went quiet. I could hear him singing to himself so I knew that he was calming down.

Anyway, he finally made his way out, ran into my room (I was hiding in my room, how pathetic is that? I just had to have my own time out for a few minutes) and came and apologised to me. He really meant it, and also said that he 'drew me a picture because I love you Mummy and it's Mother's Day' (not sure why he thought it was that, but hey I thought it was sweet at the time). Aww you drew me a picture, me inocently thinking it was in his scrapbooking. 'Yes Mummy, I drew it on my wall'


So I 'calmly' walked down to the room and this is what I was greeted with....

Seriously, is it bad that I was actually really proud of his drawing? Look at my smiley face, spikey hair. Heck he even did both legs this time! His people drawing is really starting to come on now and I was proud. So how can you be proud and yet cranky at the fact that he DREW ON THE WALL?!? I called Mr B into see it, and he too was proud and told Master L what a great job he did, pity it wasn't on paper so we could laminate it and keep it and to please not draw on the wall again. All while Mr B and I are trying not to laugh (hey, we don't want our Mini Picasso thinking its ok to draw on the walls!!).

Thank goodness for those Chux Erasers!!!

Boys huh?!? Definitely think I need to read that book Bec! I need ALL the help I can get. Roll on Friday too when I head to the Asperger's Support Group meeting for the first time. Hopefully I will learn ways to cope with Mr B, which in turn will help with the kids.


Bec said...

You know that I am brutally honest and to be honest.... I don't think it's AS - to me it sounds like a 4 year old little man who is testing the boundaries and seeing how far he can push different people.

Do your folks look after the kids often? What I'm trying to get too - do you think he would have done the same thing (with the ice cream) if you had been home? or was he trying a new tactic on a new person looking after him??

I would have taken lots of piccies and then gotten Mr L to clean up the wall. Do you think he knew what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway? or he genuinely didn't know/realise/understand that drawing on the wall isn't what's done? Is it the first time he has drawn on a wall?

I know you'll be on high alert with the boys (as am I with my little miss!!) but it sounds like normal, if somewhat annoying, trying, upsetting, infuriating and tedious 4 year old boy behaviour. I hope that you get to share things with the support group and they might have more ideas for you.

In the meantime - I'm on the end of the phone/text anytime you need to vent it all out!!!

Mrs B said...

Bec, I love it that your brutally honest! Don't stop that ok!!

Yes my folks do look after them often, and he probably would have tried the icecream thing if I had of been home but it certainly wouldn't have esculated into the event that it was because I simply would not have let it go on like that.

As for drawing on the wall, it is only the 2nd time he has done that, first time he was drawing on paper against the wall and kept going. He was so very upset when he realised it was wrong yesterday though, so I honestly think he was just trying to be nice, he just went about it a bit differently than he should ;)

I too am hoping to learn from the group, as the boys are definitely mimicing their Daddy in the way he responds to things (that aren't always in a positive way *sighs*). Hopefully they will have some hints!

Thanks chicky! I really do appreciate your friendship :)

Deb said...

Yes, that is a completely normal four year old thing and NOT just a boy thing either. All the kids around here do it - boys and girls. And to be honest with you it gets worse before it gets better. Or at least it has done with the kids I know. I'm guessing it's going to be different with each kid, but I was still waiting for the really bad stuff to happen in that post. Good luck. They say patience is a virtue, but I'm still looking for the patience tree to get a top up ;-)

Bec said...

Mandi - I knew a lady who had twins. 1 boy, 1 girl. 1 was lovely, 1 was a nightmare. The garage was the 'time out' space in their house and one day, one of the twins did something awful to the other one and was sent to time out. The next day, the mum went into the garage to go to work... opened the roller door, turned around and there was a drawing. ON her car bonnet... drawn with a ROCK. Yep - scratched through all the layers of paint as well. Child in time out had decided to show their opinion of mum at the time.
and yes - it was the girl child ;-) not the boy!

How is life now with Mr L??